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After the weddingVidaai Ceremony: The Bride's Farewell and Its Rituals
The vidaai is the bride's farewell from her parents' home after the wedding — often the most emotional moment of the entire celebration.
What is the vidaai?
Vidaai (also spelt bidaai) means farewell. In many Indian weddings, once the rites are complete, the bride leaves her family to go to her husband's home. The vidaai is the ceremony that marks this departure. In Punjabi families it is often called the doli, after the palanquin in which brides were once carried.
Not every couple follows the custom of the bride moving into her husband's family home — many live independently or in other arrangements — but the vidaai is still widely observed as a symbolic farewell.
Meaning and symbolism
The vidaai marks the change in the bride's life and the emotional bond with her family. Many of its customs express gratitude for her upbringing and a wish for her parents' home to remain prosperous.
What happens
- The bride, dressed for departure, says goodbye to relatives, often with tears on all sides.
- In many North Indian families, she throws handfuls of rice or puffed rice backwards over her head, without looking back, into her mother's or a relative's lap. It is traditionally explained as wishing prosperity for her parents' home, or as a symbolic repayment for all they have given her.
- Her brothers or cousins may push the car a little as it sets off, symbolising a gentle send-off.
- Coins are sometimes scattered over the car for good fortune.
- Older traditions had the bride carried in a doli; today she usually leaves by car, often decorated.
When it happens
The vidaai follows the end of the wedding rites — after the sindoor daan and the mangalsutra, and often after a meal and games such as joota chupai, where the bride's sisters hide the groom's shoes and ask for money to return them. It is followed by the griha pravesh at the groom's home.
Regional variations
- Bengali kanakanjali: the bride throws rice and coins over her shoulder into her mother's anchal (the end of her sari) and is traditionally said to be repaying her debt to her parents. She does not look back. See the Bengali wedding guide.
- Telugu appaginthalu: the bride's parents formally hand her over to the groom's family, asking them to care for her. See the Telugu wedding guide.
- Marathi families call the farewell paathavani.
- In Punjabi weddings, the doli is accompanied by songs, and the bride's family may sprinkle coins over the car. See the Punjabi wedding guide.
Practical tips for families today
- Plan timing realistically. Vidaai often happens late at night or in the early morning after a long ceremony; arrange tea and snacks for those staying up.
- Keep the bride's travel bag, phone charger and comfortable footwear in the car.
- If the journey is long, consider a halt or a hotel night before the griha pravesh.
- Give the bride a moment of privacy with her parents before the public farewell.
- Some couples now hold a gentler vidaai, with music and smiles rather than an emphasis on tears. There is no wrong way to say goodbye.
Fixing the date?
The muhurat calendar lists every auspicious wedding date month by month, with the hours each one holds.
Wedding muhurat calendar Match kundlis freeQuestions people ask
Why does the bride throw rice during vidaai?
It is traditionally explained as wishing prosperity for her parents' home, or as symbolically repaying them for her upbringing.
What is the Bengali version of vidaai called?
It is called kanakanjali. The bride throws rice and coins into her mother's sari end as she leaves, without looking back.
Does the bride look back during vidaai?
In several traditions she is asked not to look back, as a sign of moving forward into her new life. Many families follow this, but not all.
What is appaginthalu?
It is the Telugu farewell rite in which the bride's parents formally entrust her to the groom's family.
Wedding traditions
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